Unfinished

Lately I feel as if I have set down at a table and opened a box filled with pieces of puzzle that make up my life. I have started at the outside boarder and finally moved to the inside pieces of the puzzle that represents the various stages of my life and even the valleys that I have encountered. My only problem as I get closer to the end of this puzzle is that I seem to have mixed up a few pieces and some of the pieces I thought belonged, actually go to another puzzle and don’t belong in this one but I keep trying to put these pieces where they don’t belong and I get so frustrated that I almost give up only to find a piece on the floor or under the box lid or in another puzzle that belongs to my puzzle.

Life is much like this puzzle I speak of in that sometimes you allow all these pieces that do not belong to come and disrupt what is already a good thing.

Our World Needs Change

Below is a link of a post that Solange made in regards to an incident that happened to her and her family. This was a great read and I totally understand how she felt. Unfortunately this happens a lot. And when I have “the nerve” (as I sometimes feel people think) to comment on it I get every excuse in the book as to why it’s Not a real problem. Why do we as people have to be so nasty to others? Why do we hate? Smh, I truly wish this wasn’t an issue but unfortunately for me and anyone that looks like me it is and that my friends needs to change! I pray that one day it does!

The link to Solange’s post is below: http://saintheron.com/featured/and-do-you-belong-i-do/

New Life

A few months ago I decided that if I wanted to truly be happy and Live my life as it was meant to be loved, there were some things I was going to have to change. One- I needed to truly let go of my past and start working on my future, Two- I needed to get rid of the debt and unnecessary stress that it caused in my life, three- there were some people and things that needed to go from my life…men that meant me no good and only wanted sex from me and friends that just wanted to use me but disappear when I needed them, and fourthly and most importantly, my prayer life and faith needed to be taken up a notch.

My new attitude needed to be “I refuse to go backward. I am going forward with God. I’m going to be the person He wants me to be. I’m going to fulfill my destiny”(Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen). I got this book for Christmas from one of my favorite people and it has truly helped to change my thought process.  For the word says that we need to be “transformed by the renewing of our minds” (Romans 12:1-2)

I have forgiven myself first of all for the mess I got me in and the stuff I allowed myself to be put through. I forgive each and every person that caused me harm, did me wrong. For holding all that animosity and anger and just vengeance in my heart and mind was taking a toll but I am finally at peace. The word says that He will keep you in perfect peace if only you keep your head and mind stayed on Him. 

Debt is something that the majority of people I know have. Rather it’s your car or your home, that one credit card or the 10 (I have been there), the student loans or the medical bills, we have it. I allowed this debt to consume my thoughts and the stress of it all started taking a toll on my health. One day a few weeks ago someone close to me say me down and told me that I truly needed to pray and give that over to God. To stop carrying the strain and embarrassment of it all and let God in my situation so He could help. She also said that all I had to do was give it a try. At the time I was stressing about how to pay a $162 light bill so that next day I did as she suggested.  I felt that He instructed me to sit down and put everything on paper and to make a plan. I have to give all honor and praise to God because He is truly the one working things out for me. 

I’m going to say it’s hard letting go of people in a way, I always think but what if they start acting right, what if I’m wrong. I decided to trust God in this one and I am not looking back at any of them. Meaningless sex and friendships that didn’t benefit me or God are a thing of the past, He has bigger better things in store for me. I blocked some people and now they will know how it feels to send a message and not get a response 🙂.

Most importantly I am seeking God in all things. This is something I thought I was doing but I realized that my faith had taken a beating with everything I had been through in the last 3 years and that I needed a rejuvenation in my faith walk. I started reading these books I had always bought but never read and I have signed up for a new online bible study called “Unashamed” based on a book by Christine Caine. I refuse to ashamed about my past because it has shaped me into a better woman for my future. 

Justice

Over the last few weeks I have seen a number of stories of men raping children, women and men and it just sickens me that they are put back on the streets to do this again. In my opinion any man that does such a thing should be de-balled and his penis cut off. That would solve that situation and have us with one less future victim. 

Alive and Well

I am not sure where people got the idea that racism was no longer.  Each and every day that I live, I am in some way affected by someone’s view of race.  If one more person makes a comment to me about “you know how you people do it” or anything of the sort I just may go off.  Life is hard enough without the bigotry of others to make it worse.  No matter if you are Black or White, Mexican or Asian, racism is not dead and we face it each and every day.